Quotes Season 1
1-01 33

(Galactica Hangars)
Cally: Why do the cylons come every 33 minutes? Why isn't it 34 or 35 or...?
Tyrol: Cally...
Cally: What?
Tyrol: Shut up.

(Baltar's Daydream)
Six: Do you want children, Gaius?
Baltar: Let me think about that for a minute. No.
Six: Procreation is one of God's commandments.
Baltar: Really? Well, I'm sure someday, if you're a good cyclon, he'll reward you with a lovely little walking toaster of your very own.
Six: I want us to have a child, Gaius.
Baltar: You can't be serious.

(Colonial One, Roslin's Office; Baltar addresses both Roslin and Six simultaneously)
Six: Have you always been able to multitask like this?

(Colonial One, Roslin's Office)
Roslin: (about Baltar) He's a strange one, isn't he?
Billy: Cuckoo.

(Galactica Hangars)
Starbuck: You're the CAG, act like one.
Apollo: What the hell does that mean?
Starbuck: It means that you're still acting like you're everyone's best friend. We're not friends, you're the CAG. "Be careful out there"? Our job isn't to be careful, it's to shoot cylons out of the frakkin' sky. "Good hunting" is what you say. And now one of your idiot pilots is acting like a child and refusing to take her pills. So she either says "Yes, sir" and obeys a direct order, or you smack her in the mouth, and you drag her sorry ass down to sickbay, and you make her take those pills.
(both start snickering after a short while)
Apollo: Well, I'm glad I'm not working for you.
Starbuck: Damn right you're glad.
Apollo: So, do I have to smack you in the mouth, lieutenant?
Starbuck: No, sir, I'll take my pills. Oh, perfect. (takes them)

(Galactica CIC, after the Olympic Carrier got lost)
Adama: We make mistakes, people die. There aren't many of us left. (to Dee) Carry on.

(in the vipers)
Starbuck: Hey, Apollo, not that I'm not honored by being chosen to sit in my cockpit for the next three hours, but-
Apollo: But why you?
Starbuck: Mmm.
Apollo: Take a guess.
Starbuck: 'Cause I'm on drugs?
Apollo: (chuckles) You got it, this patrol is 100% stimulated.

(Galactica Ready Room)
Adama: Son... I gave the order. It was my responsibility.
Apollo: I pulled the trigger. That's mine.


1-02 Water

(Colonial One)
Roslin: No, it's not smart, it's politics. (changing subjects) I think I'm going to get tired of this outfit seeing as I o­nly have three for the rest of my life.
Billy: It looks fine.
Roslin: "Fine"?
Billy: Uh, it looks... great.
Roslin: You don't know anything about women, do you?

(Colonial One)
Roslin: Let's go be presidential.

(Galactica Command)
Tigh: Commander, we're ready to extend the water boom.
Adama: (to Roslin) Excuse me. (leaves with Tigh)
Tigh: How's it going?
Adama: Oh, boy... I feel like a...
Adama & Tigh: Tour guide?
Adama: It shows, huh?
Tigh: Well, she was a teacher. Probably sees all this as one big educational experience.
Roslin: He thinks I'm a total idiot, doesn't he?
Apollo: What? Uh, no, sir- no.
Roslin: It's all right.

(Galactica CIC)
Billy: How are things?
Dualla: Things are good.
Billy: Good. You look good. I really like your hair.
Dualla: My hair?
Billy: (kicks himself while mumbling) I don't know anything about women.

(Galactica Conference Room)
Roslin: Colonel, how likely are we to find water on any of these planets?
Tigh: Now you want me to guess, I take it?

(Galactica Conference Room)
Six: Someone snooping around, watching your every move? Maybe it'll be a woman, you could find her secret beauty.
Adama: I'm going to assign Lieutenant Gaeta to aid you in anything that you might need.
Six: So much for that.


1-03 Bastille Day

(Galactica Hallway)
Adama: Something on your mind, Captain?
Apollo: I just thought, maybe you had something you wanted to say.
Adama: I have nothing to say to the personal representative of the President.
Apollo: I'm still Galactica's lead pilot.
Adama: Well, I have nothing to say to him either. Every man has to decide for themselves which side they're on.
Apollo: I didn't know we were pickin' sides.
Adama: That's why you haven't picked one yet.

Doral: They would have destroyed themselves, anyway. They deserve what they got.
Six: We're the children of humanity. That makes them our parents, in a sense.
Doral: True. But parents have to die. It's the only way children come into their own.

(Galactica Hallway)
Baltar: Lieutenant Thrace, good to see you.
Starbuck: Um, good to see you too.
Baltar: Really?
Starbuck: No! (giggles, hi-fives with Boxey and leaves)
Six: Oh...
Baltar: I wonder if she's a real blonde.
Six: (jealous) I doubt it.

(Galactica Ready Room)
Starbuck: Flat-Top. You got a need for speed, do ya? Just can't wait to get back to the Big G in the lovin' embrace of your fellow pilots? Or maybe you have a hot date with your right hand.
Flat-Top: Hey, it never gets a headache.
Starbuck: Tell you what, Flat-Top - you come in too hot today, you may have to start using your left.
(this one wasn't in the UK version. I don't know if SciFi aired it, but it's in my DVD RC 1 version.)

(Galactica, Adama's Quarters)
Adama: Unfortunately, doctor, for both of us, you're the last man we have. So what's the game plan, Doc?
Six: This is what you say: "Commander, the truth is, there is one way." Say it!
Baltar: Commander, the truth is... there is one way.
Six: “I didn't want to have to ask you for this...”
Baltar: I didn't want to have to ask you for this...
Six: “But what I really need...”
Baltar: But what I really need to complete the project...
Six: “Is a nuclear warhead.”
Baltar: Is a nuclear... (looks to Six) warhead. (swallows)

(Galactica Briefing Room)
Adama: We have a few marines left on Galactica, let them handle it, Starbuck.
Starbuck: They don't have a sniper. And, with all due respect, sir, I am the best shot in or out of the cockpit.
Tigh: She's right... for once.
Adama: Wonders never cease.

(Astral Queen)
Dualla: I don't even know how I drew this detail.
Billy: President thought you'd be valuable.
Dualla: The President doesn't know who I am.
Billy: I told her. Sorry.
Dualla: On the other hand, it's nice to get out of the CIC. Break up the day... meet new people.

(Colonial One, Roslin's Quarters)
Apollo: I swore an oath... to defend the articles. The articles say there's an election in seven months. Now, if you're telling me we're throwing out the law, then I'm not a Captain, you're not a Commander and you are not the President. And I don't owe either of you a damned explanation for anything.
Roslin: He's your son.
Adama: He's your adviser.


1-04 Act of Contrition

(Galactica Rec Room, cards game)
Baltar: Something smells horrible in here. Is that you, Crashdown?
Crashdown: (smells himself) Um, yeah, that's me.

(Galactica Adama's Quarters, Kara's confession)
Adama: You did it because you were engaged.
Starbuck: Because I made a mistake. Because I was- I was so in love with him and... and I let that get in the way of doing my job. And, um, he, um... he just wanted it so much and I- I didn't want to be the one who crushed him. (crying) Adama: (barely holding his control) Reinstate the trainees to flight status.
Starbuck: I will, I, uh... but I just want you to understand that I-
Adama: Do your job.
Starbuck: Yes, sir.
Adama: And walk out of this cabin while you still can.

(Galactica Sickbay)
Cottle: You are obviously an intelligent, well-educated young woman. Would you mind explaining to me why you waited five years in between breast exams?
Roslin: Yes, I would mind, it's none of your business. - Ahh. I was busy.
Cottle: And now here you are.
Roslin: Yes, here we are... (Cottle lights up a cigarette) Would you mind?
Cottle: I do, actually. (doesn’t put it out)

(Galactica Sickbay)
Roslin: I would like to explore alternate treatments.
Cottle: Prayer?
Roslin: Witty. Have you ever heard of chamalla extract?
Cottle: Oh, gods, you're one of those.


1-05 You can't go Home again

(in the Raptor)
Boomer: Galactica, Boomer. Hotdog's aboard.
Crashdown: Yeah. So's his lunch. Take it easy, Hotdog, you're not the first to lose it in combat, you won't be the last.

(Colonial One, Roslin’s Quarters)
Baltar: (to Roslin) Yes... yeah, I was just saying that to, uh- I'm not insensitive to that, is what I'm saying. I happen to know the missing pilot personally.
Six: Not as personally as you'd like. Guess you'll never get to find out if she's a real blonde.

Starbuck: Lords, it's Kara Thrace. I'm running a little low on O2 and I could use a lucky break. No? - Okay, just thought I'd mention it.
(then after she sees the raider)
Starbuck: Oh, frak. - Not bad shooting, if I do say so myself. Lords, I owe you one.

Starbuck: (gasps) Frak me. Are you... alive? And she keeps going at it with the knife.

(Galactica, Adama’s Quarters)
Apollo: I need to know something: why did you do this? Why did we do this? Is it for Kara? For Zak? For what?
Adama: Kara was family. You do whatever you have to do. Sometimes you break the rules.
Apollo: And if it was me down there instead?
Adama: You don't have to ask that.
Apollo: Are you sure?
Adama: If it were you... we'd never leave.

(Raider / Viper)
Starbuck: You idiot! Didn't anybody teach you intercept protocol? Okay, we're gonna have to do this the hard way then.
Apollo: Lords, this bastard's good.

(CIC / Viper)
Adama: Bring it into the bay! If it does anything, take it out!
Apollo: Wilco, Galactica, but I tell you what: it's has got to be her. This thing is flying with some serious attitude.

(Galactica Hangars; after Starbuck and Apollo have landed)
Tyrol: (to the Raider) Now your ass belongs to me.
Starbuck: (to Apollo) Like my new toy?
Apollo: Boy, when you take a souvenir, you don't screw around. Oh, my gods, you smell like a latrine.
Starbuck: Mmm... you wanna give me a bath?


1-06 Litmus

(Galactica Medbay)
Starbuck: I'm good. The, uh, food is good, company's better.
Baltar: Yes, well, I just happened to be absolutely nowhere near sickbay, and I thought I would, uh, see how you're doing.

(Galactica Medbay)
Starbuck: Do you think that's where it was headed ?
Baltar: I'm sorry, I don't follow you.
Starbuck: The Cylon bomber. Do you think that he was trying to blow up your project?
Six: And you along with it ?
Baltar: It's funny, I hadn't thought of that.
Starbuck: Kinda hits you where you live, huh ?
Baltar: Yes, it does, actually. Um... you get well soon.

(Galactica, Tribunal)
Hadrian: Well, the Commander should bear in mind that my questions are not subject to Commanders' review. Why did you allow the relationship to continue, knowing it was against regulations?
Adama: I'm a soft touch.


1-07 Six Degrees of Separation

(Galactica Hangars; Tyrol is in the raider)
Cally: Starbuck's notes on the cylon raider are a mess. She said the engine power-up sequence began by squeezing something that looks like a red ligament with blue veins on the right side coming out of a sack of gooey fluid, shaped like a dog.
Tyrol: Are you kidding me? This whole thing is a bunch of veins and ligaments and sacks of goo.
Cally: Squeeze the ligament with your hand while you slide your weight on your left hip, into the lymphatic sack.
Tyrol: Well, that's just stupid!

(Galactica Medbay)
Starbuck: I don't want to do it again, I want a pill, now, please.
Cottle: Sorry, we're weaning you off the magic pills, starting today. And besides, I need 'em for myself.
Starbuck: You son of a bitch.

(Galactica Bathroom)
Godfrey: Have you lost your mind?
Baltar: I don't know, that's an interesting question, one I pose to myself on a regular basis. Now, tell me, who's really in the photograph?

(Galactica Bathroom)
Baltar: Struck a nerve, have I? Which I find rather impossible to believe! You think this is over? This is not over! You have not heard the last! No more Mr. Nice Gaius!

(Galactica Hangars)
Starbuck: What seems to be the problem?
Tyrol: Well, your new boyfriend's a bit of a jerk, sir.
Starbuck: It's a girl.
Tyrol: Well, if you don't mind her goo o­n your face, she's all yours, sir.
Starbuck: Okay...


1-08 Flesh and Bone

(Galactica Interrogation Room)
Starbuck: You're sick. You're not a person, you're a machine that's enjoying its own pain.
Leoben: All this has happened before, and all of it will happen again.
Starbuck: Don't quote scripture. You don't have the right to use those words.
Leoben: You kneel before idols and ask for guidance and you can't see that your destiny's already been written. Each of us plays a role, each time a different role. The last time, I was the interrogator and you were the prisoner. The players change, the story remains the same. And this time... this time, you're wrong.

(Galactica Hallway)
Starbuck: Are you all right?
Roslin: I'm fine. The bomb?
Starbuck: Nothing.
Roslin: Put him out the airlock.
Starbuck: What? You can't do that, not after he told you the truth.
Roslin: Yes, I can. And I will. Lieutenant, look at me. You've lost perspective. During the time I've allowed him to remain alive and captive on this ship, he has caused our entire fleet to spread out, defenseless. He puts insidious ideas in our minds, more lethal than any warhead. He creates fear. But you're right, he is a machine and you don't keep a deadly machine around when it kills your people and threatens your future, you get rid of it.
Starbuck: He's not afraid to die. He's just afraid that his soul won't make it to god.

(Galactica Pilot's Quarters)
Starbuck: Lords of Kobol, hear my prayer. I don't know if he had a soul or not but, if he did, take care of it.


1-09 Tigh me up, Tigh me down

(Galactica CIC)
Roslin: So, who's going to go first?
Adama: Oh, the tests, right. Well, I think people in sensitive positions should go first.
Roslin: I completely agree. How about you?
Adama: Excuse me?
Roslin: If you're a Cylon, I'd like to know.
Adama: If I'm a Cylon, you're really screwed.

(Galactica, Baltar's Lab)
Starbuck: What's up, doc? Baltar: Lieutenant Thrace. It's good to see you, I'm just... I'm just keeping up with the old exercises. That should, uh, that should do me- do me for today. Oh- oh, I feel a lot better. Um, what brings you to the lab at this time of the night?
Starbuck: It's the middle of the afternoon.
Baltar: Yeah, of course it is, crazy workload. I totally, totally lose track of time. So, what can I do for you?
Starbuck: You can zip up your fly.
Baltar: So, uh...

(Galactica, Tigh's Quarters)
Tigh: Well, at least I did that much.

(Galactica, Adama's Quarters)
Ellen: Oh, I know. I know some thoughtful soul just rescued me from an almost certain death and put me on the last flight out of Picon!
Roslin: How lucky for us all.

(Galactica, Adama's Quarters)
Roslin: You actually think that woman is a Cylon?
Apollo: Well, if she's not, then we're all in a lot of trouble.

(Galactica Hallway)
Ellen: You're still holding my hand...
Baltar: That's funny, I thought you were still holding onto mine.
Tigh: I'm watching you, both of you.

(Galactica, Baltar's Lab)
Baltar: I have started and stopped the test twice already now so I'm running a little behind.
Adama: Twice?
Roslin: My fault... long story.
Adama: Your fault?
Baltar: Yes, I probably shouldn't have mentioned that.
Roslin: No, you probably shouldn't have.

(Galactica, Baltar's Lab)
Baltar: Ladies and gentlemen, please, please. We're in a laboratory. There are hazardous chemical compounds everywhere. That- that's a thermo-nuclear bomb, for frak's sake.

(Galactica, Baltar's Lab)
Ellen: I told you. He's been after me for years!
Adama: What?
Ellen: Now, boys, boys, don't fight over little ol' me.
Roslin: Ellen, be quiet!

(Galactica, Baltar's Lab)
Six: If only they knew that everyone passes these days.
Baltar: Well, it's so much simpler that way. No muss, no fuss.
Six: So... what did her test really say?
Baltar: I'll never tell.


1-10 Hand of God

(Galactica Ready Room)
Adama: Captain Adama and Col. Tigh are working up a plan now and I need some serious out-of-the-box thinking.
Starbuck: Out of the box is where I live.

(Colonial One)
Elosha: You're kidding me, right? You read Pythia and now you're having me on.
Roslin: No. Who is Pythia?
Elosha: One of the oracles, in the sacred scrolls. 3,600 years ago, Pythia wrote about the exile and the rebirth of a human race. And the lords anointed a leader to guide the caravan of the heavens to their new homeland and unto the leader they gave a vision of serpents, numbering two and ten, as a sign of things to come.
Roslin: Pythia wrote that?
Elosha: She also wrote that the leader suffered a wasting disease and would not live to enter the new land. But you're not dying... are you?

(Galactica War Room)
Roslin: So it's either this or run out of fuel and be annihilated.
Adama: Sometimes you have to roll the hard six.

(Galactica Hangar)
Apollo: You know, sometimes it feels like the whole ship thinks, uh, Starbuck would do better.
Adama: I don't.
Apollo: How can you be so sure?
Adama: 'Cause you're my son. Get some rest, you're gonna need it.

(Galactica Hangar)
Apollo: Dad... I'll bring it back.
Adama: You better, or I'll kick your ass. It's a good lighter.

(Galactica Hangar)
Starbuck: Apollo, you magnificent bastard, that was o­ne hell of a piece of flying and I couldn't have done it better myself.
Apollo: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.
Starbuck: I said that I couldn't have done it better myself.
Apollo: Well, thank you.
Starbuck: Hmm. I had my doubts.
Apollo: So did I.
Starbuck: Mmm.
Apollo: I wasn't sure that crazy-ass plan of yours could even possibly work.

(Baltar's Daydream)
Six: You are part of god's plan, Gaius.
Baltar: So god wanted me to destroy the cylon base.
Six: You did well. You gave yourself over to him.
Baltar: Yes, suppose I did. Yes, there's- there's really no other logical explanation for it. I was-
Six: AM...
Baltar: I am an instrument of god.


1-11 Colonial Day

(Galactica, Baltar's Lab)
Six: Congratulations, Doctor!
Baltar: Thank you, um... politics is the only thing more boring than blood samples. All those interminable speeches, all that dreary pomp!
Six: Parties full of young women, drawn to men of power.
Baltar: But when the people call, you must serve.

(Galactica, Baltar's Lab)
Six: You're missing an intriguing opportunity. Playa's not wearing any underwear.
Baltar: Oh, don't be absurd. Really?
Six: She's been eyeing you all afternoon.
Baltar: Well, she's only human. You're not jealous?
Six: Love isn't about sex, Gaius.
Baltar: There's an enlightened point of view.

(Cloud 9; Valance's Interrogation)
Valance: You're- you're bluffing. You haven't got anything.
Apollo: But we don't need anything, Valance. 'Cause this isn't a trial. This is just you and us in this room.
Starbuck: Like Zarek pointed out, we're living in a whole new world. There's no due process. This is your courtroom.

(Cloud 9; Bathroom)
Playa: (emerges from a toilet stall) Wow! What are you gonna do now?
Baltar: Now... now, I'm gonna give you an exclusive. After you.

(Galactica, Pilots Quarters)
Apollo: Don't you think you should wash that?
Starbuck: I did.
Apollo: Like when, a month ago?
Starbuck: Do you have a problem with my hygiene?
Apollo: You have hygiene?
Starbuck: I clean up good sometimes, all right?
Apollo: Well, let me know when it's one of those times.

(Cloud 9 Auditorium)
Playa: At this point, Jim, it is anyone's guess as to who is going to win. But my money is on Gaius- uh, Dr...

(Cloud 9, Banquet)
Baltar: Good, it's difficult to fathom I, uh- I never aspired to power.
Six: Of course you didn't, Gaius but someone had to step up.
Baltar: Yeah, well, after what Laura told me—
Six: Laura?
Baltar: Yeah, we're like on first name basis now. Now, I think, uh, the people- the people need me, excuse us.

(Cloud 9, Banquet)
Apollo: So, um, that bum knee of yours is looking pretty good. And the other one's not too bad either.
Starbuck: Lee, if you wanna ask me to dance, just ask.
Apollo: You wanna dance?
Starbuck: Me in a dress is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

(Cloud 9, Banquet)
Adama: Politics. As exciting as war, definitely as dangerous.
Roslin: Though in war, you only get killed once. In politics, it can happen over and over.
Adama: You're still standing.
Roslin: So are you.
Adama: And I can dance!


1-12 Kobol's Last Gleaming (1)

(Galactrica Workout Room)
Adama: you don't lose control.
Apollo: Thanks.
Adama: No. You gotta lose control. Let your instincts take over.
Apollo: I thought we were just sparring.
Adama: That's why you don't win.

(Galactica Hangar)
Apollo: Going hunting?
Starbuck: I'm adding a gunnery run to the jump test tomorrow, see if our boy here can shoot anything with our ammo.
Apollo: So it's a boy now.
Starbuck: Changed my mind.
Apollo: You ever wonder why everyone calls it a she, but to you it's a he?
Starbuck: It's fascinating, Lee, you should write a paper.
Apollo: Well, it's not really my scene. I'm not as smart as, say, um, Dr. Baltar. How is the Vice President, by the way?
Starbuck: I don't know, haven't seen him.
Apollo: So he's a love 'em and leave 'em kinda guy, I guess.
Starbuck: I guess.
Apollo: Ships that just pass in the night.
Starbuck: Yup.
Apollo: Didn't mean a thing?
Starbuck: Nope.
Apollo: Just bored, something to do. So fraking the Vice President of the Colonies just seemed like a great way to waste some time.
Starbuck: You want something from me?
Apollo: Not a thing.
Starbuck: 'Cause I don't owe you anything.
Apollo: No, you don't owe me anything 'cause I'm just a CAG. And you're just a pilot.
Starbuck: Right.
Apollo: Pilot who can't keep her pants on.
Starbuck: Right.
Apollo: Oh, it is just like old times, Kara. Like when you got drunk and you couldn't keep your hands off that major from wherever-
Starbuck tries to punch Apollo, Apollos ducks and punches her back.
Apollo: Why'd you do it, Kara? Just tell me why.
Starbuck: 'Cause I'm a screw-up, Lee, try and keep that in mind.

(Colonial One, Roslin's chamber)
Roslin: (stares at the map in front of her) It's real. The scriptures, the myths, the prophecies, they're all real.
Elosha: So say we all.

(Galactica Hangar)
Apollo: Might work. Might get you killed.
Starbuck: Would you miss me, sir?
Apollo: I need every pilot I have. Even the screw-ups.
Starbuck: Captain... I'm really sorry.

(Raider / Galactica CIC)
Starbuck: I believed you, believed in Earth.
Adama: What are you doing, Starbuck?
Starbuck: Bringing home the cat, sir.
Adama: We can talk about this.
Starbuck: No, I don't think so.
Adama: I want you to, remember o­ne thing. I do not regret anything that I did. Be sure that whatever you're gonna do, you don't regret it later, do you understand me?
Starbuck: I guess we'll find out.


1-13 Kobol's Last Gleaming (2)

(Galactica CIC)
Tigh: Unbelievable. She's crossed the line before but this is so far beyond the pale-
Adama: She wouldn't have done this on her own, she was coerced.
Tigh: No one coerces Starbuck. Believe me, I've tried.

Boomer: I'm nervous.
Helo: (Sighs) Like anything scares you.
Boomer: Things scare me, Helo. I have feelings.
Helo: You- you have software.

(Caprica, Delphi Museum)
Six: Welcome back to Caprica, lieutenant. Like what we've done with the place?

(Colonial One)
Tigh: This is mutiny, you know that.
Apollo: Yes, I do. But you can tell my father that I'm listening to my instincts and my instincts tell me that we cannot sacrifice our democracy just because the President makes a bad decision.

(Caprica, Delphi Museum)
Starbuck spots Boomer and pulls Helo's gun and tries to shoot her
Helo: Hey, I...
Starbuck: She's a cylon!
Helo: No, no, no! You can't, you can't... she's pregnant.


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